One of the most challenging moments in any real estate career is losing a listing you genuinely believed was yours. It is disappointing, often frustrating, and for many agents, it becomes a tipping point toward burnout or even leaving the industry altogether.
But the truth is, it’s part of the business, and the way you respond is what sets professionals apart from the rest.
Step One: Understand Why You Lost
There are only three reasons a listing is lost. When you truly understand this, it strips away the emotion and allows you to focus on action instead of regret.
1. Lack of a Process
You may not have had a fortified, consistent listing process, rom your initial pre-listing conversations to how you present your agenda and articulate value in the lounge room. If your approach varies with each appointment, it opens the door to uncertainty, inconsistency, and ultimately a loss.
2. Lack of Connection
Sometimes, it’s just chemistry. You didn’t connect with the vendor as well as someone else did. It’s not personal, it’s not necessarily about skill, and it happens everywhere in life. Some people gravitate toward one agent over another based on subjective alignment, not professional capability.
3. You Were Never in the Running
There are instances where the vendor had already made their decision long before your presentation. They indulged your meetings, your follow-ups, and your preparation, but another agent was always going to be selected. It happens in reverse as well. You’ve likely had vendors who always intended to go with you but met with other agents out of politeness or to satisfy a process.
Step Two: Control What You Can
Of the three reasons above, only the first one is in your control. You cannot influence human chemistry or hidden loyalties. But you can build a listing process that is consistent, wellrehearsed, and robust enough to give you the best possible chance every time.
That includes:
- A structured pre-listing call that uncovers key motivations and objections
- A clear agenda for your presentation that frames the conversation professionally
- Articulating your value through recent results, market knowledge, and service strategy
- Following up with precision and discipline, regardless of the outcome
If your process is solid, the losses hurt less. They become data points, not defeats.
Step Three: Reset with Perspective
When you lose a listing, give yourself a moment. Not a week, not a day, a moment. Then move forward.
Revisit your process. Refine your preparation. Role play. Adjust.
What you should never do is personalise the rejection or let it derail your energy for the next opportunity. The best agents in the business have all lost listings. What separates them is that they chose to learn, not linger.
By Adrian Bo, CEO of Adrian Bo Real Estate Training & Auctions