Early in my career, I was given a piece of advice by a top agent that changed the way I approached this industry. They told me to go through the process of buying and selling property myself. Not as an observer. Not as an adviser. As a participant. At the time, it seemed like a simple suggestion. In reality, it became one of the most valuable lessons I have carried with me.
Until you have bought or sold property personally, your understanding is incomplete. You can know the steps. You can understand the contracts. You can manage timelines and negotiations. But you do not fully appreciate the emotional weight that comes with those decisions. Experiencing the process yourself gives you a level of empathy that cannot be taught in a manual.
When you buy or sell your own property, you feel the uncertainty, the pressure and the attachment that clients carry quietly. You understand how overwhelming information can feel, even when it is explained clearly. You experience the emotional highs and lows that sit alongside what looks, on the surface, like a straightforward transaction. That insight changes how you communicate.
This lived experience also sharpens your ability to guide clients through difficult moments. You become more patient. You listen more carefully. You choose your words with greater care. Conversations become less transactional and more considered. This is something I often see reinforced through real estate coaching and mentoring, where agents who have been on both sides of the transaction tend to connect more naturally with clients.
Understanding the emotional side of buying and selling also improves decision making. You begin to anticipate concerns before they are voiced. You recognise hesitation for what it is. You appreciate how timing, uncertainty and personal circumstance influence choices. This depth of understanding strengthens your advice and builds trust more quickly.
Many agents focus heavily on the technical side of the job. That matters, but it is only part of the role. Real estate is a people business. Empathy is not a soft skill. It is a practical advantage. Agents who develop this awareness through experience, supported by real estate sales coaching and performance coaching for real estate agents, tend to communicate more effectively and handle pressure with greater composure.
Going through the process yourself also grounds your expectations. It reminds you that what feels routine to an agent can feel significant to a client. That perspective keeps complacency in check and reinforces the importance of clear communication at every stage.
If you want to become a better agent, do not just learn the process. Live it. The understanding you gain from being a buyer and a seller yourself will shape how you operate for the rest of your career.